


Life, and How Fragile It Is

by mylifeandstory



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Cute Jyler, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Healed Tyler, Platonic Tyler/Josh, Really that needs to be a thing, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, depressed Tyler, we need more of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-20 13:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9494276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeandstory/pseuds/mylifeandstory
Summary: The life of Tyler Joseph. Or how lost he was before he met the two people that saved his life, and then how they did exactly that. Basically Tyler before, and then with Josh and Jenna.





	1. Drown

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! While this is not my first fic, it's my first TOP fic and first AO3 fic, so bear with me if it's a bit awk. If you're triggered by anything in the tags, then please don't read frens. This first chapter is the heaviest with the depression since it's Tyler before he started getting better. Next chapter will be up soon and let me know what you think!

Tyler Joseph hated high school. But then again what high schooler didn't? See the thing with Tyler was that besides struggling with classes, friends, and girls, he also struggled with himself. His brain had this thing where it would either get very sad or go numb. It would make him overthink everything and then he would have to chastise himself over every little thing by dragging a blade across his skin. 

Tyler came from a nice family. Nice married parents, two nice brothers and one nice sister. It was good, so good that he hated himself for troubling it all. He was the problem child. The one their parents constantly worried about. The one whose siblings couldn't understand. The one that, after his parents found the blood stained razors in his room, had to be dragged to therapy. 

And so Tyler hated himself. He hated how he acted, how he thought, and even how he looked. The worst part of it all was that he didn't know how to get better. He thought he would be screwed up for life, and then if he was gonna be screwed up, then why not just end his life? 

He tried, but couldn't bring his shaking hands to do it. 

\--  
And then he found music. He stumbled over it, actually. While trying to keep his hands busy, so they wouldn't do those things his parents and therapist would try to talk him out of, he started writing. At first he drew blank, but then, when he let himself go, he poured everything he had. 

He wrote about his dark feelings. He wrote to the only light left in his world, even though he sometimes struggled to see, God. He wrote to Him endlessly, feeling He was the only one he could be honest with. He wrote about what he felt. The things he was too embarrassed to say in therapy. He wanted to _drown_ in those words, in the comfort he found in writing. He felt as if they washed him clean.

And then he had all these words. Words that he wanted to mean something. So he walked over to the keyboard he hadn't used in years and came up with a mediocre melody to go with these words. 

When Mr. And Mrs. Joseph heard music coming up from the basement where their son liked to isolate himself, they both smiled. Things would get better. They both knew it would. Close to tears, Mrs. Joseph said a quick prayer, hoping that joy would return to her baby boy soon. 

Music was his first savior. 

\--  
Once he found music, he clung to it with all he had. The sadness didn't go away, but now he could channel it. He wrote, and wrote, even showing a few songs to the brother he was closest to. All he got was support. Zack wanted to help, offering to rap a few verses, telling Tyler how to get things to flow more smoothly. 

He wanted to do something with this music. To share it, to find others like him and tell them they weren't alone. Tell them everything he had wanted to hear back when he couldn't do anything but lay sobbing in the middle of the night, when his screams would bring his parents running into his room in the early hours of dawn. Those things still happened sometimes, but not nearly as often. 

When high school was over, Tyler found himself with a choice. He told his parents what he wanted and they regarded him warily. 

“A band?” Said his father, trying hard to not completely crush his son’s hope. 

“Yeah. I found a couple friends in school who can play with me. We don't sound that bad.”

“But what about your basketball scholarship, honey?” His mom said, afraid that the world would crush her son. 

“It's not what I want. Just let me try it. Please, i have to.”

“All right. Take a year, but Tyler, one day you’ll have to make it a hobby because you won't be able to keep going forever. Be ready for that.”

“But we’ll support you no matter what, baby.”

\--  
Tyler got along with Chris and Nick really well. Though they didn't know his personal issues that well, and sometimes his lyrics would make them stare at him for a bit. But besides that, they had a great time playing together. They started small, with a MySpace page and playing in their church basement. 

When looking for a name, he thought about a play he had recently read in school before it was over. A play that stayed with him even after they had moved on. And so, he chose Twenty One Pilots. When he shyly told Zack the name, his brother burst out laughing and told him that didn't make sense, but he didn't care, he loved it. 

They had few people show up to their shows, and then eventually, they moved out of the basement and into a small, local performance hall. Tyler was happy, he was doing what he loved. He was happy. Something he hadn't been in a while.


	2. Friend, Please

Their small hall shows started to fill up more regularly. More and more people started to come watch them perform. For once in his life, Tyler felt that people understood him. It was an inexplicable feeling, that feeling when someone would come up to him and tell him that they felt the same. That hearing his lyrics made them realize that they weren't the only ones who raged wars with themselves. 

They were growing, only a little but still growing. They even recorded an album and were working towards publishing it when Chris got some news. 

He was going to be a father. They were all happy for him, but at the same time sad. He had to leave, to support the family he was starting to create. And then like dominoes, Nick said he had to go too. 

It felt like everything Tyler had built up was about to crumble. He was so afraid. 

And then he met Josh. 

Well, they had met before. Apparently, Josh had been to a concert before and heard a few demos. But they met properly at a party through a mutual friend. 

Tyler was intrigued by the brunette (who wouldn't be a brunette for very long) who was willing to drop everything for this band. He didn't have a plan B and to him, banging it away at drums was a good enough constant. 

They hit it off quickly.

\--  
It turned out that Josh had his own struggles. Tyler learned that he struggled with anxiety and anger. That much like how Tyler had used writing as an outlet for his depression, Josh had used drumming as an outlet for his anger issues. He had a temper when he was a teen, rebelling against his parents so much that they were afraid of what he would do. 

“Once, I got so angry that I actually hit my sister,” Josh admitted quietly, staring down at the Taco Bell in front of him, “That's when they decided to seek help. They bought me the drums after someone told them that was a good outlet.”

Tyler didn’t quite know what to say. All he knew was that he felt so much sympathy for his new bandmate since he knew all too well what it was like to be afraid of what your hands could do. 

Instead of saying anything, he reached out and placed his hand on top of Josh’s callused one, giving him a small smile, one that Josh returned slowly. There, at 10 PM at night in the local Columbus Taco Bell, the two knew they were going to be friends for life.

\--  
“I’m going to throw up,” Josh said, holding his drumsticks so tight, his knuckles were turning white. It was the night of Josh’s first live show, and his anxiety was kicking in.

“No, you’re not,” Tyler said firmly, holding onto his arms, ignoring everyone around them, standing so close to the drummer that he could hear his ragged breathing. “Why don't we pray?”

Josh nodded curtly, closing his eyes and taking a shaky breath. Tyler closed his own eyes and murmured a few soft words, asking for help and guidance. Not quite as faithful as Tyler was, Josh listened silently, feeling the words calm his nerves. 

“You got this!” Tyler whispered fervently, hugging the older boy for the first time. It was a quick hug, as quick as the breath Josh took when he felt him, but it was enough to make him relax. Nodding to himself, Josh followed Tyler out to the small stage, not knowing that this would the first time of many.

After the show, a girl came up to the duo. She showed them her scars and with misty eyes said that she never felt as connected to something as she did to Tyler’s songs. Tyler’s heart broke. Taking her hands, he showed her his own fading scars, slipping the rubber band from around his wrist to hers, “No, friend, please don’t do that. I know you want to go but please, don’t take your life from me.”

It was after that night that he finally felt he had a purpose. That he wanted to keep going for others. He thought about leaving his wrist bare in a moment of strength but in the end, decided he wasn’t quite ready. “Someday,” he whispered, thinking of the girl who now held a rubber band around her wrist too.

\--  
“I want a tattoo,” Tyler declared, eyeing Josh’s half-finished sleeve. 

The two of them were lounging in Josh’s house, supposedly practicing but really just hanging out and playing video games. 

Josh paused the game and looked over at him. “Seriously? Of what?”

Tyler thought briefly, “A cross. To start. I’ll want more later, but I do want them to mean something.” Josh nodded, knowing how important their faith was to the other. It was present in all his music and it had kept him alive. “Will you come with me?” Tyler continued, a little shyly. 

“Yeah, of course. I know a great place. He did mine.” Josh grinned, reaching absentmindedly for his sticks and drumming against his leg. 

\--  
“I'm going to throw up,” Tyler said stiffly, his eyes wide at the needle a few feet away from them. 

“No, you're not.” Josh countered, remembering how their places were flipped just a few days before. “Uh, do you wanna pray?” He felt a bit silly offering. Josh believed, but not quite as feverishly or as deeply as Tyler and they both knew that. 

Tyler looked over at him thankfully and smiled, reaching for his hand but before he could answer, the tattoo artist walked over. “You ready, bro?” Giving Josh another smile, he turned to the heavily tattooed man and nodded somberly. 

“If it's easier, look away. It's gonna take a while because of all the ink.”

Tyler had gone with a more abstract design of a cross, it was more like an outline of one. It wasn't quite as obvious and to some people, it might just look like four black boxes, but he was fine with that. He knew the meaning behind it and that was all that mattered. 

As the needle started working away and he felt the first pinpricks of pain, he tightened his grip on Josh’s hand, happy he was there to hold on to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love them. Like I bro-ship them because I love jyler but joshler is also cute. Also, have you guys noticed a pattern with chapter titles? Can you pick out where I reference the song? ;)


	3. Lovely

“I’m so excited!” Tyler just about bounced in his seat, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, “I can’t believe it’s finally happening.”

Next to him, Josh grinned, giving in to the singer’s infectious joy. “It feels like yesterday that I was going to your show in that moldy room.”

Tyler laughed, shaking his head at the memory, “Before you were in the band.”

They were on their way to their first out of state show. Josh, Tyler, and Mark, a friend who had volunteered to be their videographer, were piled into an old van, lugging their instruments across state lines for the first time. They were nervous and excited, mostly nervous.

\--  
“I want to play Ode to Sleep as the opener,” Tyler mused as they set up the drum kit.

Josh looked up from the floor where he was sorting through cords, raising his eyebrows curiously. It was their most unique song and also, one that they had never truly played live. “If you think we’re ready, then sure.”

Mark grinned, “I’m getting it all on camera, maybe we can use this for a music video later.”

\--  
Only twelve people showed, but to Tyler, those twelve people meant the world. It meant that they were not only a local band anymore. They were going places, small places but places. That night he slept content, something that hadn’t happened in a while. 

The next day they continued their trip. Still in their ratty van, still on their way to a very small show, but still doing what they loved, and frankly that's all mattered. During car trips or during sleepless nights, he worked on their next album. He wasn't sure if anyone was going to listen to it but he just wrote anyways. Wrote poems that turned into song, wrote prayers he would start humming, wrote anything and everything. The rubber band still housed on his wrist but he found himself not needing to snap it against his skin as often. 

Josh helped a lot. The two would stay up talking in hush tones until Mark told them to shut up. They would go out on food runs together and end up staying out for hours. They made dumb jokes that only they understand. Above all however, they helped each other. When Josh started panicking before a show or interview, Tyler would hold his hands and calm him down, saying a prayer or just words of comfort. And when Tyler had one of those days that he couldn't find the will to smile, Josh wouldn't leave his side all day, making sure that the singer’s hands did nothing other than fiddle. Tyler realized that he had never had _real_ friend before because Josh showed him what true friendship was. 

\--  
Their last show had had such a good turn out that they decided to stay in a slightly nicer hotel than their regular hole in the wall motels. The group was thrilled, and to celebrate, they went out to party. 

Tyler didn't like drinking because alcohol and him was not a good mix, but he decided to make an exception for that night. Josh on the other hand, was all about it, having been quite the rebel in high school he was familiar with drinking and smoking and while he enjoyed it, he never pushed Tyler to it. So he was glad to have the one chance to let loose with his best friend.

In the late hours of the night, they made their way to the hotel, drunk. Like always, they were sharing a room so they stumbled in together, laughing over a joke both of them had already forgotten. 

Not wanting the night to be over, Josh pulled Tyler to his bed, “Let’s watch a movie Ty!” The two boys fell into the bed giggling, still clinging together. 

They stared at each other and Tyler wondered. He wondered about the connection he felt with Josh like he had never felt with anyone else. He wondered about the love and care he felt for the boy. So with a drunk boldness, Tyler leaned in and kissed Josh. The drummer was taken by surprise, but after a moment of hesitation, kissed back tentatively. 

While this was nice, even through their drunken haze both boys could tell that this wasn't quite right. Neither of them felt the desire to keep going further, and so Josh pulled back and smiled at Tyler lopsidedly, settling into the bed and closing his eyes. Tyler started crawl out, thinking he had overstepped, especially after realizing that he didn't want Josh in that way. But Josh reached out and pulled him back, “No, stay.” He murmured, not opening his eyes.

Tyler hesitated but moved back, settling into the bed next to his best friend. After a few moments of overthinking, he gave over to heavy drunken sleep.

\--  
Josh woke up first, and after letting the his headache subside for a bit, he looked over to the sleeping brunette next to him. He recollected the events of the night before, until he finally came to the kiss. Josh had experimented with guys in high school and had already ruled out being gay or anything like it. He had kissed Tyler back though, because he had never felt about a friend like he felt about Tyler. But during the kiss, Josh didn't quite feel it. He still loved him, but now he knew it wasn't in that way. 

Tyler woke up shortly after that, and after taking in the situation and last night’s hazy memory, he sat up way too quickly for someone who wasn't used to being hungover. Groaning, he tried to hold his head, apologize and scramble out of the bed all at the same time. 

Josh frowned, reaching for him. “Whoa, whoa, Tyler relax, it's okay. Really, it's okay.”

Hesitantly, Tyler looked back, not quite meeting his eyes, “I’m sorry. I messed it all up. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just...drunk. I mean, I love you but not like that -- arg I mean, I just wondered. I'm so stupid, I always mess everything up. I'm sorry.”

Shaking his head, the drummer gently laid his hand on top of Tyler’s. “No, don't apologize. You didn't mess anything up, you're saying all these things but all I see are...cobwebs and flies. I kissed you back Tyler. It's okay. I wondered too. At least now we know.” He shrugged, “This won't change anything between us unless you let it.”

Finally Tyler smiled, “Okay, okay you're right.” He laid back down and they both stared up at the ceiling on their back. “I can't deny though…that was a nice kiss.”

Josh laughed, tilting his head. “Yeah, it was lovely. You’re lovely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was for you joshler shippers and that's as much as you're gonna get lol. Look forward to Jenna in the next chapter!


	4. We Don't Believe What's On TV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Queen Jenna is finally introduced, she slays!

Chris was getting married. It had been a little over a year and a half since he had left the band and Tyler hadn't seen him much because of their touring. Thankfully the wedding lined up with a break in touring so Josh and Tyler were headed down to Columbus. 

“Dude, we just sold out two shows for the first time!” Josh exclaimed happily, looking at an email on his phone. They were average sized venues but still a big deal to them. 

Tyler remained silent and smiled, but after a few seconds it waived, his eyes staying on the road. It was just the two of them in the car, Mark and the rest of the crew choosing to stay up. Josh picked up that there something was wrong with Tyler and tried to place what it was. 

He thought back to last few days. They had been signed for months now so things had started getting busy. Vessel had just been released but Tyler was still writing. Usually if things got too much or if Tyler started slipping into a bad place, Josh would notice and he would catch him. This time though, he hadn't noticed any of the usual signals. 

“Is everything okay Ty?” He finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen. 

“Yeah...why?” Tyler answered after a beat. 

“You're lying to me, I can tell.” Josh said point blank. “You're kinda forgetting I know you like the back of my hand.”

Tyler let out a low chuckle. “It's just...I'm overthinking too much. The usual.”

“Okay so talk. You know it's not good for you to keep it all bottled up.”

“I...I’m scared of losing all of it. It feels like it's getting too good to be true.”

“By it, you mean the band and stuff?”

He nodded, “When I fail -- “

“-- _if_ \--” 

“ _If_ I fail, will you still be there?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course. Tyler this band is everything to me, I don't have a backup plan. If it all goes to hell, we’ll manage but you're not getting rid of me.”

“We can make money selling you hair,” Tyler murmured, finally cracking a soft smile. Josh laughed and ran a hand through his now blue hair. 

Already cheering up, Tyler sighed contently. “I should talk to you more.”

“Yeah, you really should,” Josh said, plugging in his phone and filling the car with music. “but you're a doofus.”

\--  
The wedding was lovely. The ceremony had breezed by at their church and now they were at the reception. It was outside under a huge tent lighted with string lights. The dance floor was bustling but Tyler was sitting at his table, people watching. Josh had left his side a while ago in pursuit of one of the bridesmaids. 

As his eyes passed over the many guests, his gaze landed on a pretty blonde girl in a blue dress. She was tall and elegant, dancing with one of the groomsmen. He was struck by her beauty but figured a girl like her was definitely taken. 

A few minutes later he lost track of her and decided to get a drink. While he stood at the bar, the mystery blonde walked up next to him. She glanced at him and flashed him a quick smile before turning away, clearly not impressed or star struck. In the quick moment he got a glimpse of her ice blue eyes. She was absolutely beautiful. 

His drink was handed to him and he tried to search for an excuse to talk to her. He had seen the groomsman she had been dancing with kiss someone else so maybe, just maybe, there was a chance she was available. 

“Hey, I’m Tyler. You're” his voice cracked and he wanted to punch himself, “beautiful.”

The girl turned and regarded him with amusement, her blue eyes sparkling. “Actually my name is Jenna.”

Before either of them could get another word in, the song changed and a girl came running up to Jenna. “Oh my gosh this is our song! We _have_ to dance!” Without another look back, Jenna let herself be tugged to the dance floor. Tyler looked after her, wishing it was him dancing with her. 

\--  
The wedding was ending and Tyler had finally found Josh (with significantly rumpled hair and undid shirt) so the two of them had said their goodbyes and were walking out to their car. There, under the light of the streetlight, Tyler spied Jenna. Without thinking twice about it, he walked briskly over, “Jenna!”

The blonde looked up, her eyes drifting from Tyler to Josh’s bright blue hair. Tyler wasn’t even sure why he was so taken by this girl who clearly wasn’t even that interested in him. He had met several girls on tour that had looked at him with more interest in one minute than Jenna had all night. Maybe it was exactly that that drew him towards her. He had arrogantly assumed they were fairly known in their hometown given their latest success, but clearly not as much as he had assumed.

“Hey...Taylor, right?”

He resisted the urge to cringe, and behind him he heard Josh laugh. “Uh, it’s Tyler actually, from the bar.” She nodded, still looking at him curiously. “I was wondering, uh, could I get your number?” That felt awkward, and he was pretty sure everyone else had felt it too. She was going to reject him, there was no way a girl like her would be into someone as socially awkward as him.

“Sure.” 

Before he even knew what was happening, she was pulling out a pen and writing down her digits on the wedding program. Handing it to him, she grinned, “Don’t lose it.” Opening her car door, she gave him one last wave, called out “Cool hair!” to Josh and slid into her car.

After she had driven away and Tyler and Josh were in their own car, Josh finally burst out laughing, starting the car. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you try to pick up a girl before!”

Blushing, Tyler crossed his arms and stared pointedly at the dashboard. “Just because I’m not out hooking up every other night -- “

“-- I do _not_ hook up every other night --”

“-- doesn't mean I don't got game. I mean, I got her number didn't, I?” He waved the program happily in the air. 

“Well, she was cute. I hope you go for it buddy.”

“I will, and I’ll show you a thing or two about the ladies.”

Josh just smiled, glancing over at his best friend. 

\--  
“Should I call her? Text her? I don't know how tech-y she is.”

“Well you can't call her, doofus because you're calling me right now.”

Tyler sighed, “But I need to keep you on the line so I can know what to say!”

“Ty...do you want me to come over?” 

“No, no it’s okay. I got it,” Tyler nodded to himself, “Maybe I should invite her to the next show. It's only like an hour away.”

“Oh yeah! That’ll impress her. Start by calling her though, get to know her.” Josh encouraged kindly.

Tyler nodded once more and hung up, promising Josh a full run down of the conversation after it was over. He stared at the phone a good 5 minutes, gathering the courage to do it. Finally, after taking a deep breath, he punched her numbers and hit dial. 

“Hello?”

His heart skipped a beat, “Hi, Jenna? It's Tyler! From Chris and Kayla’s wedding. I just, uh wanted to call and say hi. Which I did. So, uh, how are you?”

Beautiful laughter from the other side, “Hey, Tyler! I was wondering when you were gonna call me. You can't just leave a girl hanging like that. I'm good, just doing some work with my mom, so thanks for giving me an excuse to get away.”

Tyler smiled, “My pleasure. So, how do you know Chris and Kayla?”

“It's the craziest story. I went the high school with Kayla but we didn't really start talking till college, we both went to Ohio State…”

They talked for almost an hour, about random things, topics Tyler wouldn't be able to recall months later but what he would recall was how comfortable he felt. When they were starting to say goodbye was when he brought up the show, “So I'm in a band right? We have a show coming up on Saturday and it's only like a 45 minute drive, so I was wondering if you would like go?”

“A band? Cool! Sure I'm free. What time?”

Tyler let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. “The show’s at 9 so I'll pick you up at 7 since I have to be there early.”

“I can't wait, I'll text you my address. Bye, Tyler.” She said cheerfully. 

“Bye, Jenna”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens! Please comment your thoughts! I'm feeling a little insecure about this story and I just want to know if anyone likes it/is reading. It would just make my day :)
> 
> as always, stay alive |-/


	5. Tear in My Heart

At exactly 7:00, Tyler rolled up to Jenna’s small apartment. It was in the outskirts of Columbus. She had grown up in Ohio a town over from Tyler and after college had decided to move to Columbus.

He texted her that he was here and then took a deep breath to wait. That morning he had put extra care into his looks. His mom had seen him fussing around and had pelted him with questions until he locked himself in the bathroom. He had thought of getting his own place, but it didn't make much sense when most of his days were now spent on the road. _’Then it doesn't make sense to get into a relationship either’_ said a voice in his head but he ignored it. 

A few minutes later, Jenna walked out, looking radiant in sneakers, simple black jeans and a soft cream sweater, her blond hair half up and half down. Tyler smiled at her until she slid into the seat next to him. 

“Hi,” they both breathed at the same time and then laughed. 

“You look great.” Tyler said, smiling once again at her. It seemed that she drew endless smiles from him. 

“Thank you, but it's not about me tonight, Mr-I'm-in-a-band,” Jenna teased him. “So, you didn't tell me, what kind of music do you guys play?”

Biting his lip, Tyler mulled it over. He hated this question because he had never caged himself into a genre. Their music was as unique as the lyrics that went with them. “Um, it's hard to explain. I write all the lyrics and then Josh -- my bandmate -- and I work together to come up with the music. I’d play you a demo but I don't want the first time you hear me sing be with me next to you.”

Jenna laughed, and Tyler couldn't help but smile back. He loved her laugh, it was clear and bright and it made him want to do everything possible to hear it again. 

“I understand. I'll try to be gentle with my criticism when I see you after the show.” Jenna smiled, twirling a piece of her hair, “Or maybe, I'll become your biggest fan. What's the name of your band?”

“Twenty One Pilots”

“Interesting. Elaborate.”

Tyler explained the story behind the name. While he talked, he would shot Jenna little glances, both to check if she was interested and because he liked looking at her, and every time he looked over, she would be looking right back at him, a soft smile on her face. The rest of drive went like that, with them exchanging little tidbits about each other. 

Next thing he knew, they were pulling up to the venue. It was theatre located downtown, and though it had a vintage facade, the inside was large. They were headlining the biggest stage there for the first time. 

The pair made their way inside, where Josh and the crew were setting up already. Tyler made the introductions and Jenna seemed to get along easily with everyone, which he was thankful for. 

When Jenna took in Josh’s purple hair, she frowned slightly, “I could've sworn the last time I saw you your hair was blue!”

Everyone laughed. “He likes to change it often. Next time you see him it’ll probably be pink or something.” Mark explained. 

“I like it, it's so bright.” She said, reaching out, and running her hand through it. Josh grinned, shaking it out. 

\--  
As he waited in the wings, Tyler was nervous unlike anything he had felt in a while. They were opening with Ode to Sleep like usual and while that was one of his favorites, it was one of the songs he was most self-conscious about. 

Josh noticed this and walked over, the crowd cheering in the background with a only a few minutes till showtime. “Tyler. It's okay, you’ll be amazing.”

He just nodded silently, snapping the rubber band around his wrist. Josh noticed this and slid his fingers in between the band and his wrist, stopping the motion. “Listen to me, she likes you. Nothing you do tonight should change that, and if it does, then she's not right.”

Tyler nodded again, taking a deep breath, “Thanks,” he whispered softly, stepping back. Mark and their closests friends on the crew walked over, ready for their usual ritual. Tyler said a quick prayer and then they broke apart. 

Taking another deep breath, he pulled the skeleton hoodie over his head and stepped out onto the stage. 

“I wake up fine and dandy but then by the time I find it handy…”

\--  
Tyler didn't let himself look for Jenna until the end of trees. The whole show he kept his eyes on the top row in the back, not looking at the front row of the pit where he knew she was standing. So as he played the ending notes, he finally let his eyes wander down. There she was, like in the car, looking right back at him. She had a soft smile, swaying back and forth gently. Tyler wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, for her to look starstruck? Horrified? Embarrassed? Regardless, he loved the way she looked now, looking at him like they were the only two people in the room, not surrounded by hundreds. 

“There’s a special guest today,” Tyler said after the song ended, “watching us perform for the first time ever, so I hope we weren’t too bad. How were we?”

Cheering from the crowd, another smile from Jenna.

“Anyways, I hope, you enjoyed it. We are twenty one pilots and so are you!”

Loud cheering and screaming from the crowd as him and Josh took a bow. The same soft smile from Jenna

\--  
Out of breath, Tyler waited for Jenna anxiously backstage. What would she think? He hoped she’d be impressed. Soon enough he spied her blonde hair walking their way, chatting with the crew member in charge of escorting her. When she saw him, she waved. “Hey! You guys killed it. That was awesome.”

She didn't seem any different than before the show. Certainly didn't seem to be treating him like a rockstar or anything. He liked that.

Josh emerged a few seconds later, wiping his sweat with a towel. “Hey Jenna, I'm glad you liked it. Tyler spits fire doesn't he?”

Jenna laughed, nodding while Tyler blushed. “Anyways, I'm starving. Are you up for dinner or is it too late?” He added, asking Jenna. 

She raised her eyebrows. “I set my own curfew, and it's only 10:45, I could eat. Where to?”

“There's this great Italian place only 10 minutes north” said Mark, flipping through his camera. 

Everyone looked at Jenna and she shrugged, “Don't look at me, I'll eat anything.”

“She's a keeper, Tyler!” Called out Kris, a crewmember and everyone burst out into laughter.

\--  
After they had eaten their fill of pasta, Jenna and Tyler had said goodnight and walked to Tyler’s car, hand in hand. The dinner had gone amazing, Jenna had their whole table laughing. Her witty remarks plus Josh’s jokes made Tyler laugh until he cried. 

Now, a more subdued feeling fell over them as they pulled out, driving through the dimly lit streets. They were quiet but it was comfortable silence. They had been on the road for more than 20 minutes before Tyler finally spoke. “I have to drive back tonight because tomorrow we head over to Pittsburgh, and then Brooklyn.”

“Mm?” Jenna murmured, resting her head against the cool glass. “When am I going to see you again?”

“I-I don't know. I wish I didn't have to go.”

More silence. Then Tyler looked over, ready to confess his feelings, and saw that Jenna was asleep. Her chest was rising and falling steadily, her mouth only slightly open. She looked beautiful. 

He drove and then when they got to town, he tried to take the smoothest roads so she wouldn't wake from potholes. At just past 12 he was rolling up to her door. She looked so peaceful that he didn’t want to wake her. Yet he knew he had a long drive ahead of him, so he unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over. “Jenna, we’re here, wake up.” He whispered, shaking her gently.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, still heavy with sleep, “Tyler?”

“We’re here, you slept most of the ride.”

She gave him a smile, that smile she had during the show, and reaching out, she gently placed her hand on his cheek, “You’re beautiful”

Tyler blushed, “No, that’s all you --”

“You have a beautiful mind, I’ve never heard music like that before. I want to know what it’s like inside.”

While Tyler searched for words to convey what he was feeling, Jenna sat up and still a bit drowsily, leaned forward and kissed him. It was a kiss unlike any kiss he had ever experienced. He was on fire, feeling more alive than he had in years.

Kissing her with all that he had, he knew, he knew he was falling quickly for her and there was no going back. She had to be the one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your lovely comments guys!! They rly motivate me <3 I hope you liked this. I kinda based it off an interview Ty did where he said he was taken by how unimpressed Jenna was by everything when he invited her to a show for the first time. I just love when he talks about her. 
> 
> |-/


	6. The Run and Go

Tyler had never used skype as much as he did in those first few months. Every night, after the show, even sometimes during dinner, Tyler and Jenna would skype. She’d tell him of her job at the church they both attended. Even though Tyler had grown up going there, they just had never ran into each other. Tyler would tell her of the show, fans, or even sing her new pieces they were working on. 

Even though they were doing great, things were hard. All Tyler wanted to do was hold her, feel the electricity that ran through his body when she kissed him. He hated the screen. He hated having to ask her to be his girlfriend over the internet. 

As often as they could, they drove or flew out to see each other. Usually it was Jenna coming down since it was easier for her to get multiple days off. She had no problem fitting in with the crew and soon enough Mark and Brad were treating her like a sister. 

\--  
Jenna got along extremely well with Josh, which made Tyler happy. They were the two most important people in his life, and he didn't know what he would have done if they disliked each other, but the three of them fit like a puzzle piece. 

Josh and Jenna got along so well that they would sometimes even skype when Tyler wasn't around, and the first time Tyler walked into the bus to find his best friend talking to his girlfriend, he just grinned. He slid in next to Josh and joined the conversation easily. There were never any feelings of jealousy. 

One time, during one of Jenna’s visits, she entered the bus and every seat was taken. The boys were having a Mario Kart play off and everyone had crowded in to watch. Tyler was absorbed, not even looking up when she walked in. 

So, without a second thought, Jenna plopped herself down on Josh’s lap, who was currently not playing. He didn't even blink, murmuring a soft hey and continuing to scroll on his phone, looking over shoulder. 

Some of the crew members gave them weird looks but when Tyler emerged from his haze and looked over, he just grinned, pecking Jenna’s lips hello. 

The relationship between the three of them was just as magic to Tyler as the relationship between him and Jenna. 

\--  
The hardest part about dating was sharing his struggles. After listening to their songs more carefully, Jenna had gathered that Tyler suffered with a lot of things. He never talked about it though, too afraid that his mind would be too much for her. He didn't want to lose her. 

The tipping point came when Jenna was visiting for 2 weeks, it was the first time she was staying that long in almost 8 months of dating. Tyler was struggling. In the weeks leading up to her visit he started having panic attacks again. He kept getting worked up over being honest with her and he hated it because he had had his mental health in extremely good condition lately. 

He was afraid to tell Jenna about all the dark parts of him. He knew deep down that she wouldn't care but his insecurities wouldn't let him believe that. 

The night after a show, Jenna was out getting food when Tyler had another attack. He couldn't do anything and the anxiety of Jenna finding out what a freak he was only made it worse. Josh found him crouched against his bed on the floor, breathing heavy with his hands covering his head. 

“Oh Tyler,” Josh sighed and dropped down next to him. He knew all too well what this felt like and usually it was the other way around. “Breathe. Breathe. You're okay. You're here.” He gently pried Tyler's hands away and peered into his eyes. “Do you want me to get Jenna?”

“N-No” Tyler stammered. “S-She’ll think I-I’m a freak.”

“Tyler?” 

At the sound of the familiar voice, Tyler looked up and his eyes filled with tears, shaking his head. 

“What's wrong?” Jenna asked Josh, abandoning the food at the door and rushing over. She kneeled next to them and studied Tyler’s face with concern. 

“It's a panic attack.” Josh explained, taking one of Jenna’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly. “Just stay by his side and remind him to breathe, it’ll pass.”

She nodded, tears now rolling down her face. Crawling closer to Tyler, she took one of his hands with her free one, closing her eyes and resting her head against his shoulders as he sobbed.

She cried for him, for the things he was too scared to tell her, the things she wanted to love. He cried for her, for being too weak and causing her pain, when all he wanted was her happiness. 

\--  
After a while, Josh left the lovers alone. Tyler managed to calm down but the two just sat in silence, holding each other as their tears dried. 

Eventually, it was Tyler who broke the silence, “I-I’m sorry.”

Jenna let out a soft sound of disbelief and pressed herself closer to his chest, swinging her legs over his so they were closer together. “No baby, no. I'm sorry for not being there for you. I just...I just wish you could tell me. I know, I know it's hard. I hear your lyrics and all I want to do is love you.”

Tyler's eyes started to fill with tears again. “I didn't want to call you in the middle of the night, burdening you with my troubles and broken pieces. I’m too scared to ruin us.”

“This won't ruin us Ty.” Jenna said firmly, taking his face in her hands. “I love you and I want to love all of you, just let me in baby.”

“I love you too,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I don't know why I ever doubted you.”

And so he talked. Talked about the things that had haunted him since high school. He told her of his self-harm and the rubber band; of his self-loathing; of his loneliness; of the nightmares that stole his sleep and haunted his days; of the voice he battled in his head; of Josh, and how things got better when he was around; and finally, of how she made him feel, how she made all those dark things mean nothing.

When his voice was hoarse and his heart and mind lighter, silence finally regained and Tyler was scared of the space it created. But Jenna was now fully on his lap, crying and kissing every part of him. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” She said, finally coming back up hold his face. 

“I-I’m still sick. I don't want to hurt you, you’ll just have to watch me struggle from afar. I can understand if you don't want me…” he said heavily, his voice breaking. 

“No. You won't hurt me. I promise to be here. You're amazing Tyler, and you're definitely not this sickness. It doesn't define you.” She breathed, resting their foreheads together. 

Tyler simply leaned in and kissed her, not believing that this girl was his. All those years of pain were worth being able to love her. Right then and there, he made a promise, to God and himself, promising that he was never going to leave her. 

\--  
It was nearly an hour later before the two of them got off the floor. They were shaken up but better. What happened in that hotel floor changed their relationship but it was for the better. The two of them bonded in a way not many were, by sharing their raw souls with each other in total vulnerability. 

“The food is so cold now,” Jenna laughed, peeking in the bag she had dropped by the door. 

“That's okay. I like cold Chinese.” Tyler said, holding her from behind, kissing her shoulder. “I love you.”

Jenna smiled and turned around, kissing him softly. “I love you too, always. But if I don't eat soon then I might not like you very much.”

He laughed and let her go, “Do you wanna go find Josh? He probably ate already but I'm sure he won't have a problem with eating more.”

Jenna nodded, “I have to thank him for taking such good care of you all this time.”

\--  
And so a few minutes later, the three of them were eating cold Chinese food in their small hotel room but they were happy. Josh was happy that Tyler finally found someone to let his guard down with, Tyler was happy that he had found someone who loved him unconditionally, and Jenna was happy that she not only had one wonderful boy in her life, but two. 

The rest of the two weeks were blissful, without any more panic attacks or problems. Instead, their only worry was how to get enough out of this time together. Jenna had used up all her vacation time with this trip and while the boys tour was almost over, they were only going to get three weeks off. Their next tour would start soon, and it would be more intense than the last, especially as their label put pressure on Tyler to finish their next record, one he had decided to call Blurryface, though he hadn't told anyone but Jenna why he chose that. 

The strain on their relationship was only going to get greater, but the two were determined to make it work. 

\--  
Meanwhile, Josh was struggling with his own romantic endeavors. He had met a girl, a pretty girl with hair the color of copper that made him laugh. Her name was Debby and she worked in the industry, which made things both harder and easier. 

Easier because they understood the pressure and the work ethic. Harder because their schedules almost never lined up. Regardless, the two of them tried to make it work. 

Debby and Jenna hit it off quickly, understanding what it was like to be in love with a boy you didn't see enough. And so the four of them became a group easily. It was no longer just Tyler and Josh, struggling to keep each other afloat; but rather, Tyler and Jenna, and Josh and Debby, and the four of them became a family. 

\--  
When their break came to an end, Tyler felt afraid. He had grown so attached to Jenna, he knew he needed her. After spending every day together for nearly a month, now he wasn't going to see her in four months, no visits, no trips, no anything. 

The night before he had to leave, they spent their first night together. They didn't do anything but sleep and hold each other, but to them, it was extremely intimate. 

“I don't want to slip back into old habits,” Tyler's whispered, running his hand through Jenna’s hair as she rested against his chest. 

“You won't. You're strong Ty, with or without me. Josh will be there too.” Jenna replied, reaching up to kiss his neck. 

“He’ll be busy with Debby,” Tyler continued, letting his insecurities get the best of him. 

“But not too busy for you. Ty honey, look at me,” Jenna said, sitting up so their faces were level. “I have faith in you, but you need to have faith in yourself. No one can defeat this but you, and you can do this.”

Not quite sure what to say, he leaned in and kissed her, pressing his thumb gently into her palm, a gesture that had developed between the two of them that Tyler used when he couldn't express himself. 

Eventually Jenna fell into a restless sleep, but Tyler himself couldn't even close his eyes. Instead, he just held her, doing what he did whenever he couldn't sleep: talk to God. This time however, they were soft whispers since he didn't want to wake Jenna. 

At some point during the night, Jenna did wake up, and when she heard Tyler's voice, she pretended to be sleeping, curious to what he was saying. She had to strain to hear his soft whispers, but she could just make them out. 

“...much. Just protect her please. Don't let me hurt her, I don't care about myself but if this _thing_ causes me to hurt her, then I won't be able to forgive myself. Save me, not for me but for her.” A pause, “I know nothing’s impossible for You.”

He stopped and pressed the lightest of kisses on the top of her head. 

_’Thank you,’_ Jenna thought, _’Thank you for putting him in my life.”_

\--  
The next morning, when they said goodbye, no more tears were shed, they had all been shed at night. Instead, they just held each other tighter and promised to be strong for the other. 

It wasn't until Tyler was over 100 miles away that he realized it was their anniversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I was out of town this weekend but lmk what you guys think!


	7. Lane Boy

“Well, that's...different,” said Micah, their producer, “What genre even is that?”

“It's not, not really one specific one.” Tyler answered, all of the sudden getting protective over the song they had just run through for the first time.

“Hmm.” Micah nodded, picked up the lyric sheet, “Heavydirtysoul? Why is it all together? Why not just Heavy Dirty Soul?”

Tyler just shrugged. Behind him, Josh stood up, “I think he can name it what he wants Micah.” 

“Right. I mean, I was just wondering. It's pretty rap heavy. Is the new album going to be like this? Are you aiming for more of a hip-hop genre now? This is the first song you’ve played us so I was just wondering.”

“No, not really, none of the other songs sound similar, at least the ones I have so far.” Tyler said. 

Micah nodded again and Tyler was reminded of a bobble head. “The thing is boys, you’re gaining traction. Don't you think you should find one genre and stick to it? Make some more...radio friendly hits?”

Josh frowned, “That's never been our approach and it seems to be working well if we’re ‘gaining traction.’” He put up air quotes. 

“Well, just sleep on it okay? Go and rest for the show. We can regroup tomorrow and Tyler you can show us some other new stuff.” Micah smiled politely, gathering his papers. 

Without saying a word, Tyler left the small recording room and Josh murmured a soft insult, following close behind. 

“You're hurt.” Josh deadpanned once they made it out. “Don't take it personally Ty, it's a great song.”

“I’m not,” Tyler lied. 

What if Micah was right? Was he really pushing his boundaries? He wanted to succeed, what if that was what it took?

“Yes, you are. Let's go eat so I can needle you until you finally admit it.”

Tyler was about to say okay when they both spotted a familiar red-head standing at the end of the hall. Josh lit up, “Debby!” The girl turned and broke out into a smile. 

“Hey! We finished filming a day early so I thought I would --” Josh didn't let her finish, scooping her up and kissing her. Debby pretended to squeal with disgust at his sweat but you could tell how happy she was. After he put her down, she turned to Tyler. “Do you guys wanna go grab dinner? I have so much to tell you!” She added, primarily directing it at Josh. 

Josh shot Tyler a look. A “I don't see my girl a lot, give us some alone time” pleading look and as much and Tyler wanted to talk to Josh right now, he forced a smile. “I'm not hungry. I think I'm just gonna go call Jenna. She should be getting off work soon.”

Josh grinned. “Okay, see you later bud! Fuck, Micah okay? Forget him!” He shouted and him and Debby started down the hall, hand in hand. 

“Bye Tyler!” Debby called as she burrowed into Josh’s side. 

He checked his phone, Jenna wouldn't be off for another two hours. As he headed back to the bus, his mind wandered back to Micah. Maybe he was right. They were starting to get a little famous, what if Tyler messed it up? He was just starting to make money from this. He thought about Jenna, who he knew he wanted to marry one day. If he ever hopped to support her then maybe he did need to tweak his sound a little bit. They were just starting to recognized too. The other day, a girl had stopped them at a 7-11, which had really been a first. 

All these dark thoughts started swirling around his head, and they only grew until a final one dropped heavily into his mind: what if he just never made it?

_’You aren't’_ came a voice in his head and he froze dead in his tracks. It was a voice he hadn't heard since he was seventeen and home alone, hanging over the kitchen sink, willing him to cut deep enough to end it. 

A voice he had thought he had laid to rest, so much so that he had decided to name his future album after it. 

Blurryface. 

\--  
“...which made David burst out laughing in front of a bunch of 6th graders. It's kinda silly don't you think? Tyler?” Jenna asked after a pause. 

“Huh? Oh sorry, yeah.” Tyler said, trying to tune back into what Jenna was saying. 

“What’s wrong Ty?” Jenna asked, trying to peer at him closer and for the first time ever, Tyler was happy the computer screen was there. 

“Nothing,” He answered, shifting around in his bunk as an excuse to avoid looking at her. 

A brief pause. “You were sampling today right, baby? You said heavydirtysoul. Did something happen? Did Micah say something?”

She knew him so well and it made his heart ache. He hated lying to her, especially about this, especially since they had moved past it. But this was too much. He hadn't heard the voice since anyways, it was probably nothing, he must have gotten confused. “No, I mean he thought it was different but good. It's all good. Anyways, Debby visited today just before the show. She’s staying for a few nights.”

Jenna hesitated but finally went along with the change of subject. “Really? I bet Josh was happy. I miss her too…”

\--

The next day, they tried sampling again. While Micah was more open to the song, he still pushed Tyler to stick to one genre and to hear other stuff but Tyler refused even though he had about 3 other songs finalized. 

Afterwards, he avoided talking to Josh and Jenna about it. They both knew about what he did (or rather tried to do) when he was seventeen and he knew that if he told them he was hearing the voice that pushed him to do it again, they would be very worried. 

Besides, he wasn't hearing it on the regular like he was back then. So far, it had only made one more comment apart from that first one. He was pushing it away and was convinced that would work. There was no way he was going to slip back into that. 

_‘Or so you think.’_

\--  
Eventually, the days started to turn to weeks, which then turned into months. Everything seemed to start running together like a watercolor painting. Tyler would mention something thinking it happened yesterday only to find out it had been 2 weeks ago. 

They continued to work on the record, but each time they were about to try something new, Tyler would panic, falling just short of a panic attack. He hid this from Josh because he would tell Jenna, and Jenna would worry, which was something he didn't want her to do. 

Determined to rid himself of this, he sat down one day, fully set on writing a more “radio friendly” song as Micah put it. It was hard. First off, he didn't even know what constituted as “radio friendly.” So he tried listening to the radio a bit, and found he didn't like anything he heard. They all sounded like empty, overly upbeat, forced romantic songs about sex.

He knew however, that he needed to do this --

_‘You’ll just fail anyways’_

\-- so he tried to start out with less heavy lyrics and catchy chorus that was repeated a lot --

_‘It sounds like trash’_

But he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. It was called “Forever” and it was about nothing in particular. He had tried to write about Jenna but it felt too personal to say how he felt, and he didn't want to lie about it either. 

_‘You're already lying to her, you fucking hypocrite.’_

He took a deep breath, resisting the urge to talk back, knowing that only made things worse. He had to keep pretending _he_ wasn't there. 

_‘I’m not going anywhere, baby’_

\--  
He sung the song to Josh and Jenna first. Jenna on skype, Josh holding the computer in his lap, Tyler sitting across from them. 

The minute he started singing he knew it felt (and probably sounded) awkward and forced. Josh and Jenna let him finish, neither saying anything. When he finally finished, there was a long pause. 

“It's, uh, different.” Jenna finally offered. “It doesn't sound like your other stuff.”

_‘She thinks you're a loser’_

Tyler fiddled with his sleeve, “I’m trying something new.”

Josh tilted his head, “This is about Micah isn't it? You're trying to change your style.”

_‘He thinks you’re a failure’_

“No...no, I was just...you're right. It does sound bad.” He stood, “I’m gonna go work on it.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Josh said at the same time as Jenna offered to skype over there. 

Tyler paused, looking at them heavily. “No, I want to be alone.” He could see the concern in their eyes, the worry. 

Once he finally made it out the bus, he walked to a patch of grass on the other side of the lot and crouched behind a tree, calming himself down. 

_‘Don't tell them about me, they’ll think you're a freak that will never get better, you know why?’_

Tyler finally gave in, his resolve crumbling as tears pooled in his eyes, “Why?”

_‘Because you never will.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I gave up social media for lent so expect more writing from me!! Also, I already wrote the next chapter and omg, things get intense! Let me know what you think :)


	8. Fall Away

After he had finally given in and started talking back to Blurry, he couldn't stop hearing his voice. He made comments about everything. If Tyler made a small mistake during a show, if he lied to Jenna about how he was feeling, if he avoided Josh, if he had a panic attack -- anything. 

It had started to get to him. Every night now he had to calm himself down for 20 minutes before being stable enough to talk to Jenna. Their conversations started getting shorter and shorter, with Tyler making up excuses as to why he couldn't talk as long. He felt awful about it but he didn't want Jenna to see him get worse. Deep down he knew that Jenna would help him, but by now his guilt was too great. 

Of course, Jenna noticed noticed something was off. She started skyping Josh more, trying to figure out what was wrong with her boyfriend but he didn't know either. Tyler had been just as evasive to Josh as he was being to her. The two of them were beyond puzzled but every time any of them asked, Tyler would brush them off and change the subject. 

\--  
At first Josh thought Tyler was just busy writing and was too embarrassed to show them anything but every time they tried sampling, Tyler would insist on working on the same song or just working on music -- no lyrics. 

He knew something was truly wrong on a typical post-show night. Josh, Brad and Mark were lounging backstage smoking, waiting for the crowd to clear. Tyler was sitting on the couch across the room, typing away on his computer. 

Everything was normal until Tyler did something he had never done before. He stopped working and walked over to them, silent until he finally said, “Can I have some?”

The three of them stared at him. Everyone knew Tyler didn't do drugs. Josh was pretty sure the singer had only ever had one drag off a joint ever. No one gave him any shit for it though, they knew his mind was sensitive and worked different. He was also more religious than any of them and chose to stay away from it. He would stay in the room when they smoked but never for too long and certainly never asked to have some. 

“It’s weed, Tyler.” Mark finally said, a bit dumbfounded. 

“I _know,_ ” He responded, a bit defensively, “Am I not allowed to have some or something?”

Josh sat up, passing the lighted roll to Brad. “No, it's not that. It's just, you never usually want to smoke with us.”

Tyler frowned and stared, “I just wanted to see if it would...never mind. You're right, maybe I shouldn't. I'm gonna go for a walk.”

With that, he turned and left the room before anyone could say another word. After he was gone, Josh stood up and walked over to the computer Tyler had left behind, curious to see what he had been doing that brought this on. He typed in the password his friend had used for the last 4 years only to find it didn't work. He tried again, but still, the machine remained locked. Tyler had changed his password. 

And that’s when Josh knew something was really wrong. He turned back to Mark and Brad, who had also picked up that something was off. “I'm gonna go look for him.” Josh said, running a hand through his hair and starting towards the door. 

“No, Josh wait. You're shirtless and high, the place is still packed with fans. You need to stay here. We’ll send someone to look for him,” Brad said, pulling out his phone and calling Chris, their tour manager. 

“He’s not okay, he needs me.” Josh tried to argue but he knew Brad was right. His brain was still slightly woozy from the drugs and he knew if he ran into a fan or reporter like this, things could end bad. 

Groaning, he flopped onto the couch and pulled out his phone, calling Jenna. 

\--  
“He asked for weed?” Jenna exclaimed in disbelief, putting down the itinerary she had been working on when Josh called her. 

On the other side of the phone, Josh sighed, “Yeah and then he walked away. I was going to go after him but Brad said I was too high.”

“Are you still?”

“No, not really, it's wearing off now but they still won't let me go. They said that they don't want both of us ‘wandering around.’” 

There was silence on the line as both of them tried to think of something to do. Jenna stood from her desk, feeling too helpless sitting behind it. She walked over to her window and stared at the twinkling lights of downtown Columbus. The roads were bustling at this hour on a weekend night. She had been working from home and was just about to go for dinner when Josh called her. 

“Do you think...do you think that he’s hearing things again?” Jenna finally asked, nervously twirling a piece of her hair, “He’s been so...off for so long but I didn't wanna think the worse.”

Another sigh from Josh, “I want to say no, but the more I think about it, the more I think you're right.”

Jenna held back tears, “W-What if he’s hurting himself again? I wish he would just talk to me. Am I not enough? All I want to do is love him.”

“Jenna, don't do this to yourself. You are more than enough. His mind just gets the best of him sometimes and there's nothing we can do.” Josh said, wishing he could be over there to comfort her. 

“You're right. I’m gonna go try and eat dinner, call me if anything happens, okay?”

“Of course, you know I will. I love you.” The two of them didn't say this often, but Josh knew Jenna needed to head this now. 

“Thanks bub, I love you too.” She mustered a small smile before hanging up and moving off her window. She knew she needed to eat but had no desire to. Instead, she tried Tyler’s phone again, which rang before going to voicemail. 

“Hey honey, it's me. Please call me, we’re all worried. I love you.”

\--  
Tyler felt trapped. This arena was so big that he felt like he was running around in some kind of rat maze. He didn't even know where he was going, he just knew he had to move because --

_‘They're after you. They want to put you in a crazy house’_

He squeezed his eyes shut. ‘No they're not, I just need to calm down.’

_‘Yes, they are. Why do you think Josh didn't let you smoke? He knew you couldn't have that when they put you away.’_

Tyler took a shaking breath, knowing that reasoning with him never worked. However, he couldn't help but let some doubt slip into his mind. He didn't want to be what he was before and fall away but he was too deep in. He had lied, and lied to the people he loved most. His conscience was starting to get thin. 

He needed to get out. Get out, get out, get out. 

Taking another shaky breath, he rounded a corner and spied a roady that barely knew him.

_‘Trick him. Get what you need.’_

“Hey man!” He called, putting on his best I'm-okay-voice, “Do you have the keys for the rental car Chris got? I'm going to pick up some stuff.”

The guy’s eyes went wide when he realized Tyler was talking, “Hey, yeah I do...but I think they were looking for you?”

Tyler faked a smile. “I found him, he just told me to go pick up some stuff for him.”

The roady hesitated but Tyler could see his resolve wavering. He clearly took Tyler’s word. “Um...okay, here, it needs to be back tonight but I'm sure you know that.”

He nodded, accepting the keys, “Oh yeah, for sure.”

The minute he was out of sight, Tyler ran to the parking lot, searching anxiously for the car. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing but now felt too afraid to turn back. 

_‘It’s okay baby, listen to me. I know where we need to go. We need to get away from them.’_

Tyler took a shaky breath and nodded, finally spying the car. Blurryface told him where they needed to go and he felt a wave of fear and anxiety but nodded again, slipping into the car. 

It had to be done, Blurry was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (josh) DUN DUN DUN. As always lmk your thoughts and predictions!! Comments just inspire me so much :)


	9. Trees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to trees when things start getting intense. Also trigger warning guys, something big happens! Aaand if things get confusing time wise, it starts late evening, happens over night, and ends early morning.

His hands were shaking as he finally pulled out his phone. 

_‘Don't do it we don't have time. We need to go. NOW TYLER.’_

For a brief moment he hesitated, but then he shook his head, ‘No, just this. Just this. I’ll do it, I promise, just this.’

20 missed calls from Josh. 18 from Jenna. 12 from various other people. 

Over 200 messages. 

He ignored them all and instead went to write a new message --

_‘TYLER.’_

Just one message. He knew they would pass it on. Four simple words that he knew he would understand. Hitting send he looked up at the stretch of road in front of him. 

_‘Okay, let’s go.’_

\--  
Josh had been on the phone with Jenna for almost 2 hours now. The phone was sitting on the table next to him on speaker while he laid across the couch. They weren't doing a whole lot of talking but just hearing the other’s breaths over the line was enough. One of the three was missing, they had to know the other was there. 

“You gave him the fucking keys?!” Came the billowing voice of Chris from down the hall. 

Josh immediately sat up as Chris and his assistant, who looked ready to die, came barging into the small room. “What happened?” Josh asked, looking between them. 

Chris groaned, running a hand through his blonde hair. “Get out Eli. Out before I fire you, and out before Josh does worse.” 

The meek looking guy glanced at him and then quickly left the room. Josh stared after him, dread forming in his stomach. “Chris. What happened?”

“He, fuck, he gave him my car keys.”

“Tyler?” Came Jenna’s voice from the phone. Josh picked it up so she could hear better. “Tyler got car keys?”

Chris just nodded guiltily at the phone as if she could see him. 

“What the fuck Chris?!” Josh clenched his teeth, his free hand curling into a fist. “Do you think he’s in any condition be be driving?! He’s probably having a break down! God knows what he’ll do with a car, we’ll never be able to find him!”

“I know, I know, I don't know why he did that. The car has GPS though, I'm working on getting that right now.” He sighed, dropping into a nearby chair. 

From the phone, Jenna gave a little sob. The sound immediately made Josh’s anger soften. “It's okay, Jen. We’ll know where he is soon.” But as he finished saying that, his phone dinged with a text message. The minute he read the words, his heart dropped. 

“I need to get on a plane.” He panicked, looking around for his shoes and shirt, trying to keep his breathing under control. “Now, I need to go.”

“Josh? What's wrong?” Brad asked, staring at him puzzled, “Where are you going?”

“He just texted me! He -- fuck!” He threw his phone against the couch and slid to the floor, trying not to panic. Tyler need him right now, there was no time for an attack. 

“Josh, Josh, explain. Talk to me.” Chris said gently, picking up Josh’s phone, where Jenna was also freaking out. 

Taking several deep breaths, he explained. He explained what those four words meant to him and Tyler. When he was done, Jenna was full on sobbing and Chris nodded grimly, already booking him the soonest flight back. 

“Jenna, I’m gonna go, I'll call you before I land. Be strong, I know you are. Let me know if he shows up at yours or at Kelly’s” Josh said, knowing she must feel even worse than he did. 

“I-I’ll try.” She breathed, “Be safe.”

\--  
It had been over an hour since that text. Over 6 hours since she ate and over 10 since she was supposed to have gone to sleep. 

She was anxiously pacing the shiny cold airport floors, waiting for a head of purple hair to come bobbing through the doors. 

There were still no other news from Tyler. Jenna was scared. Scared of what his mind would tell him to do. All she needed was some reassurance but she had no idea what to expect. 

Finally, she saw him, and though he wasn't the boy her heart was aching for, a wave of relief still washed over her as she ran to him and crashed into his hug. 

She had been able to keep her tears in check since the last call, but the minute she felt Josh’s arm wrap around her, the reality of why he was here sunk in and she broke down.

Sob after sob came over her, and she could barely even hold herself up as her whole body shook. 

People were giving them weird looks but Josh didn't care, all he did was hold her, not shedding a tear himself, but feeling as if he was going to melt right through the floor with worry. 

When her sobs finally reduced to sniffles and hiccups, Josh pulled back, gently wiping her eyes with the sleeve of his already tear soaked hoody. “Are you good? We need to go. He needs us.”

Jenna nodded, not quite ready to speak just yet. The pair made their way to Jenna’s car, where Josh gently took the keys from her shaking hands. 

“We’re going to be okay. The three of us. I promise.”

\--  
 _‘RUN. RUN. FASTER TYLER! We’re running out of time!’_ Blurry screeched, impatience filling his tone. 

They were going to hate him. 

No -- they already did. 

There was no point now. 

He was doing them a favor. 

Saving them time and money. 

He knew just the place. 

It would be best for everybody. 

The wind billowed around him, almost like God’s breath itself. _‘I’m sorry’_ Tyler thought, _‘I know You're here and I’m coming to say hello.’_

The trees said nothing, just stared down at him, daring him to do it. 

_‘Tyler.’_

He twisted the rope in his hands, relishing the burn of the fibers. 

It was hopeless. 

\--  
“Thanks Kelly, we’ll keep you posted too.” Josh sighed, hanging up the phone. 

The two of them were driving around, trying to find Tyler as the sun started to rise. The more time passed, the more Josh felt his panic build. There was a knot in his stomach and with each second, it grew tighter and tighter. 

Jenna sighed and looked over at Josh. “How did you know what the text meant?” She asked, her voice hoarse from all the crying. 

Josh, bit his lip, “Okay so you know how Tyler doesn't like talking directly about...it?”

She nodded. 

“When things were really bad, he was scared he would, um, really do something he would regret so if he was feeling that way, he would text me that. ‘I wanna go home’ like he wanted to go home, to God.” He took a deep breath, “It was our code message. I would immediately go over and stay with him until he was okay.”

Jenna nodded, appreciation in her eyes for the boy that had kept her boyfriend live. “I don’t think he told me how bad everything really was. When he was home, we’d go on these walk in the forest but he --”

Josh slammed on the brakes and turned to look at her, “I know where he is. Let's go.”

Ignoring every red light, the car squealed through the town as Josh prayed, really prayed, that he could keep his promise to Jenna. 

\--

Jenna ran, her voice raspy with calling out. She kept stumbling over roots and getting leaves in her hair but she didn't care. She was searching, searching, looking through the branches, calling out for the other half of her soul. 

“Tyler! Tyler where are you?!” 

The sunrise was in all its glory, the first few rays of golden light peeking over the horizon. The blazing light made it look like the forest was bathed in gold. 

It was beautiful, and if Jenna’s body wasn't over filling with fear, she would have loved it. 

But all she saw were trees, and more trees. 

And then. 

She stopped in her tracks and her body shook and a scream unfurled out of her. Slowly, she sunk to the ground, frozen, unable to do anything, knowing she should be doing something, but all she could do was scream. 

\--  
They had split up to search better, but as he felt more helpless, Josh thought that maybe that wasn't such a good idea. 

He was close to giving up hope when he heard Jenna’s wailing screams, and he knew, he knew she found him. 

The panic built in him as he ran towards her screams, fearing for the first time that maybe Tyler had actually done it. 

‘Please, please, please.’ He repeated, his hope wavering. 

Then he crashed through the trees to the small clearing where Jenna was huddled on the ground, her screams still piercing the still morning silence. 

The small clearing where Tyler hung. 

For a few seconds all he could do was stare, and the knot in stomach tightened so much until it snapped, and when it snapped, he did too. 

He was moving, climbing the tree, cutting Tyler down, shouting at Jenna to call 911, and then he was on the ground, pressing his shaking fingers to his friend’s neck, and to his greatest relief, he was feeling life still pulsing through him. Weak, but there nonetheless.

Everything was going to be okay. 

“Thank you,” he said, bending down to rest his forehead against Tyler’s, “Thank you, God.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah that was hard to write guys. Obviously this whole thing is fiction but based off interviews, the music, and some BTVs, I think most of us agree that Ty has probs tried to commit suicide at least once :,( and while that breaks my heart, I felt like I need to work that in. Anyways, lmk your thoughts? Was this chapter awk?


	10. Goner

Jenna wasn't used to being in hospitals. The last time she had been in one, she was twelve and had broken her ankle. She had been playing with her cousin and he dared her to climb as high as she could up a tree. She tried, but ended up falling out of the branches in a few minutes. 

Trees. 

The image popped back into her mind. The image of her boyfriend swinging from a branch as if he were nothing but a leaf himself. She started to panic again, her breathing speeding up. She was about to start hyperventilating when an arm dropped around her shoulders. 

“Jenna.”

She looked at the voice. Josh stared back at her, weariness evident on his features. “Breathe Jenna, I’m here and we’re going to be okay.”

She just stared at him and nodded, leaning into his side, anchoring herself to him and the stiff waiting room couch. She hadn't said anything since it happened. She had no words, because what do you say when your other half tries to kill himself?

She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed more into Josh, willing herself to stop feeling. 

\--

Everything had happened in a blur. It was like scenes from a movie. One moment Josh had been cutting Tyler down; then the next riding in an ambulance, trying to calm Jenna down while simultaneously calling Tyler’s family; the next he was explaining everything to Tyler’s doctor, and then the crew members; and then he was being ushered out to the waiting room; and then he was trying to reach Jenna, who now seemed more of a shell than a woman.

He was exhausted, all he wanted to do sleep and push it away but now that he was finally sitting in silence, and Jenna had finally fallen asleep on his shoulder, he had to process everything. 

Tyler had tried to kill himself. 

Josh knew Tyler had been suicidal before, but when they were friends, it was never as bad as it been in the past, so he was struggling to understand that Tyler had actually done it, or rather tried to do it. 

No -- it hadn't been Tyler. It had been blurryface. Tyler would have never done this by himself. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, he took a deep breath when he saw the name on the screen: Debby. The two of them had been having a problems lately. Of course it was nothing to the magnitude of Tyler and Jenna, but the two of them weren’t nearly as strong as them. They were still babies in love figuring out if they were meant to be whereas Tyler and Jenna knew that without a doubt. 

Regardless of how much Jenna was suffering right now, Josh had no doubt that her and Tyler would get through this. He glanced at her sleeping figure and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead before looking back at his phone and answering. “Hello?”

“Josh? Oh my gosh, how are you? Mark told me everything that happened, why didn't you call me? I was worried sick! Is everything okay?” 

“Tyler tried to kill himself,” Josh replied, his voice neutral, “So no, not everything’s okay right now.”

“Why didn't you call me?” Debby said in a more subdued voice, “I had to hear it from Mark, _Mark_ of all people. I was calling him because you weren't answering and imagine his surprise when he found out I didn't know. I had no idea all this stuff was going on!”

Josh really didn't feel like arguing with her when he had bigger problems going on than their crumbling relationship, “I’m sorry Debby, but things have been busy, and I have tried to call you but you’re always on set when I do and your assistant picks up, should I start leaving messages with her about my suicidal best friend?”

“Josh,” Debby sighed, “You know I’m trying. Don't be like that. I don't think you're being fair, it doesn't seem like you’re trying half as hard as you should.”

“Well I am. I'm sorry my hardest isn't good enough for you. Maybe we’re both wasting our time then.”

“Josh, c’mon.”

“My best friend is in the hospital right now, I really don't feel like arguing. Have a goodnight, I’ll schedule an appointment with your PA to call so we argue later, goodbye.” He hung up and flung the phone to the seat next to him. Maybe he was being too harsh, but he didn't feel like dealing with it all right now. 

He had just closed his eyes when he felt a cold hand press into his jaw. Opening his eyes, he saw Jenna staring tiredly but sorrowfully at him. 

“I'm sorry, did I wake you?” He said, “You're freezing.” He pulled away and unzipped his hoodie, pulling it off so he could drape it around her thin frame before pulling her back into his chest. 

Jenna just smiled and looked pointedly at his phone. Josh wished she would speak, but knew it was best not push her. So he just shook his head and leaned his head back against the wall, closing eyes, willing sleep to come for him at last. 

\--  
“Jenna, Jenna, wake up, honey.” Kelly shook the blonde awake. 

When Jenna awoke, she was no longer curled into Josh instead she was laying across the couch and woke up to her boyfriend’s mother crouching over her. 

A bit groggily, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Despite the fact that she had just woken up, she was still exhausted. 

“Oh Jenna,” Kelly sighed and slid into the seat next to her and hugged her tightly. “He’s okay, sweetheart, he’ll live.”

Jenna just stared. She should be happy, or mad or something but she felt nothing. 

“He’s awake now. Still a bit drugged out but awake. Josh is in there now.” She continued, and Jenna looked over her shoulder, registering who else was in the waiting room. Brad, Mark, Chris and Michael, their manager had flown in. Tyler’s brothers were also in the room. His dad was probably getting them all food. 

Food. Jenna realized she was starving. It had been over 13 hours since she ate. Pulling away from Kelly, she pulled out her phone to check the time but it was dead. 

“Jenna? Are you alright?” Kelly asked, seeing that she wasn't quite as focused at she should be. “Do you wanna go see him?”

She thought about it. Yes, she did, but she was scared to. However, maybe seeing him again would cause her to finally feel something, so pushing her hunger away, she nodded. 

\--  
Josh had no idea what to say at first. So when the doctor came out and told them Tyler was awake, he let his parents go in first and stayed behind, and then when they came out, he had carefully laid Jenna down and slowly walked over the room. 

When he walked in, Tyler was hooked up to various machines with bandages covering his neck, so when he saw him, Josh just shook his head and leaned against the wall, “You’re a selfish little fucker, you know that right?”

Tyler just chuckled weakly and nodded, “I-I’m sorry,” He rasped. 

Josh sighed and walked over, sitting on the chair next to his bed, “No, don't apologize. I know it wasn't you, I know that. I just wish you had told he was back.”

“I was...afraid.”

“But we would have helped you. You have no idea what this did this to Jenna. She found you first and her screams were the most painful thing I’ve ever heard. She hasn't talked since.”

Tyler closed his eyes painfully and rubbed a hand through his hair. 

“Tyler, look at me. You have to promise me you won't shut us out again.” Josh said, taking one of Tyler’s cold hands. “We’re here for you and you have to believe that.”

“I-I promise,” He replied shakily, and was about to say something else when he saw his girlfriend standing at the door. 

Jenna’s hair was a tangled and greasy mess. Her makeup was smudged and a day old for she hadn't even taken it off when Josh called yesterday. She was wearing old lounge clothes and Josh’s tear soaked hoody. Still, Tyler looked at her like the most beautiful girl in the world and broke down into tears when he saw her. 

“I-I’m s-sorry...I’m s-so s-sorry Jenna,” He croaked, “I-I d-don’t deserve y-you.”

For a few seconds, Jenna just stared, and Josh and Tyler were scared because what if she really wasn't okay? But then, something inside of her seemed to give in because her chest started rising and falling as silent tears poured down face as she looked back at Tyler. She rushed over and sat on his bed, planting the lightest of kisses on him and two of them just held each other, crying and not saying anything, but knowing that they would get through this. 

Looking at them, and at the love that just _radiated_ from them, Josh knew him and Debby weren’t gonna last. They cared deeply for each other, but there wasn't true love there. Certainly not the love he was witnessing then. He would call her later, and they would maybe cry but they would go their separate ways. 

Right now though, he focused on the present. The couple had calmed down and though Jenna still looked weary and exhausted, she now looked happy. She was laying next to Tyler, holding him like he was the last life raft at sea. Tyler looked over at him and reached out to take his hand. Jenna curled her arm around Tyler and placed her hand in top of theirs. “I love you both.” She said, her voice beyond hoarse from hours and hours of crying. 

“I-I’m so sorry.” Tyler whispered, “I w-was so stupid. I don't want that to h-happen again but I’m a goner. I d-don’t know if I’ll ever get better.”

“You will.” Josh said firmly, squeezing his hand. “Together we’ll take Blurryface out. You just need to let us in. We won't let you be gone.”

Tyler nodded and for the first time in weeks, felt completely at peace. After a few more moments of this, he looked over at Josh. “I-I love you both but go h-home. Jenna, you look exhausted. Go, I’ll be here when you get back.”

Jenna laughed, and the sound was like the first few rays of sunlight after a storm. “I am starving, and could do with shower.”

Josh agreed, “I’m sure I smell like weed and day old sweat.”

Planting a soft kiss on Tyler’s cheek, Jenna wiggled out of the bed. “We’ll be back soon then.”

“I love you.”

“Always. I love you, too.”

\--  
After they had showered, ate, and slept for a few hours, Jenna and Josh headed back to hospital. Jenna was driving, much more relaxed and happy. Obviously they still had some hard conversations ahead, but she knew it would all be okay. 

“You know, even though I slept on a couch --”

“Pull out couch,” Jenna corrected

“-- that was still one of the most relaxing sleeps I’ve had.” Josh continued, stretching languidly. He was wearing Tyler’s clothes that Jenna had lying around, and though they fit him a bit awkwardly, he was happy. It was a new day and they were moving ahead. 

Jenna smiled and glanced over at the purple haired boy. “Thank you. You were right, we are going to be okay. There’s no way I could’ve done this without you.” 

“Jenna, you and Tyler are my family. I know you would do the same.” Josh smiled back, reaching over to squeeze her hand gently. 

\--  
When they got to the hospital, Tyler was finishing up a session with his Psychiatrist so Jenna busied herself by talking with his family and getting them to go home and get some rest. Josh did the same with the crew members, setting them up at a hotel. They recorded a short message for the fans, saying Tyler had fallen sick, that’s all. 

Eventually, they were allowed back in but Tyler wanted to speak with them individually. So Jenna went in first. 

When she walked in, Tyler looked better, sitting up in his bed and writing in his journal. She watched for a while before getting his attention. “Hey, honey how are you doing?”

Tyler closed his book and looked up, giving her a tired smile. “Getting better. But come here. I missed you so much.”

She walked over to empty chair next to his bed and took his hand. “I missed you too Ty, I wish our reunion didn't have to be in a hospital.”

He sighed, drinking in every drop of her. Her features and everything he hadn't seen in months. Everything he loved and needed, sitting right there. “I know. I...I wanted to talk about that. The doctor said that if I keep going to therapy and take my meds, after a break we can start the next tour.”

Jenna drew in a sharp breath and Tyler took her other hand, pulling her closer. “But listen, I don't wanna go without you. I need you. Jenna, I-I almost killed myself,” his voice broke as tears started to rise, “I can't be without you again. I’ll just shut myself out again and I need you to be with me. Will you...will you come with me on tour?”

She hesitated, bringing up his hands and planting soft kisses on his knuckles. “I-I...what about my job? You know I love you, and of course I want be with you but I don't just want to freeload off you.”

“Jenna, the money means nothing to me if not for you. You're not ‘freeloading,’ I know you’ve never had those intentions. I want to marry you one day, and it would be _our_ money. I would give it all away for you sweetheart, If you don't come with me then I’m coming here to be with you and we won't tour.” 

She didn't quite know what to say. There was no way she could ask Tyler to give up his music for her. Her job was just something to pay the bills, his was something else. It saved lives, starting with his own. Sure, people would call her a gold digger, a “trophy girl,” a beard or whatever else their growing fan base came up with, but she didn't care. She had to be with him, not just for him, but for herself too. 

He had been anxiously watching her the whole time she debated, so when she looked up and saw the fear in eyes, it broke her heart. Before saying anything else, she leaned over and kissed him feverishly. “Yes. Yes, I’ll go with you. I love you so much.” She whispered between kisses. 

Tyler cried, pulling her on the bed, kissing her like each kiss was the last. He would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for the pain he had caused her in one night, and he was perfectly okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is long and Jenna focused, so ofc its a goodie :) please give me some feedback on the last two chaps babes!


	11. Holding on To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for ANGST

Getting better was hard. Tyler had to confront all his demons and make himself the most vulnerable he had been. It meant talking about parts of himself he would just rather leave for paper. He had to take control over his body and mind. 

He went to therapy twice a week by himself. Then once a week, him and Jenna would go to couples therapy. Not because their relationship was suffering, but because Tyler needed to learn how to express his feelings and trust Jenna completely. He had to learn how to fully rely on people, hold onto them without any limitations. 

The break was good for everyone. It gave time for Tyler and Jenna to work things out and for Josh to explore. He stuck around Columbus for a couple weeks, just to keep updates on Tyler, but then with much pushing from Tyler and Jenna, he left for LA, the city he had been infatuated with for so long. He had wanted to try living out there for the longest, and even had bought a small place in LA but with everything that had happened, he didn't have much of a chance to use it. 

The break was only a few months, but for them it felt longer than that. It was like they were getting ready to start afresh. 

Tyler started making a lot of progress on the album, now more confident to share. It was unique and different, and he knew that's what made it special. 

\--  
The best part for him was being able to be with Jenna. After months of being apart, it was amazing to be able to spend everyday together now. 

The more time they spent together, the more Tyler knew he wanted to marry her. He was raised in a Christian household and he still lived by those beliefs, so he never spent the night, they never did much more than kiss, and obviously didn't move in together. While he wanted marriage to be able to do all those things, he primarily wanted to marry her because he knew without a doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this girl. 

So he started making preparations. Going ring shopping with her sister, running through what he was going to say with Josh and then Zack, booking flights to France where he knew Jenna had always wanted to go. 

He hoped everything went well, because if it did, they would start the next tour as Mr. & Mrs. Joseph. 

Jenna had a small inkling of what was going on but she wasn't quite sure when anything was going to go down. However, when Tyler said they were taking a trip to France, she knew that when they flew back, Tyler wouldn't be her boyfriend anymore, but her fiancée. 

\--  
“I’m so excited!” Jenna squealed, squeezing Tyler's hand. 

Tyler just smiled and lifted his arm so he could drape it around her shoulders while still holding her hand. The two of them had arrived last night, and had spent the night settling in their hotel. 

They woke up late and now were on their way to the Eiffel Tower, where Tyler planned to do it. He was beyond nervous and felt like he was going to throw up any minute. 

He knew of course, that Jenna was gonna say yes. Or at least he hoped. There was still a little doubt in his mind that she would say no. As much as he was trying to push it away, he couldn't help but turn it over in his mind. 

However, when he looked over at her and she looked back at him with that same smile she had that first night back when he was nobody, she dispelled any doubt he had. 

\--  
“Wow, I mean, you look at it in movies and pictures, but they just don't do it justice.” Jenna sighed, snuggling into Tyler’s side. 

The breeze whipped around them, carrying the secrets of the city of love. Tyler closed his eyes and felt the wind, wind that only a few weeks ago had felt melancholy and haunting but now felt hopeful and loving. 

He pulled away and turned to her. “I love you.”

Jenna smiled at him, her blue eyes searching his, “I love you too, honey.”

“Jenna, you’re amazing. You -- you have no idea what you mean to me.” His voice started to waver, and he swallowed back tears. “You saved my life, sweetheart, you put life back into me. I have never loved anyone like I love you, and I know that I never will.”

Tears had started pouring down her face. She held him tightly, taking in all his features, trying to convey that everything he was saying, was exactly how she felt too. In that moment, the world could have fallen down around them and two of them wouldn't have had a clue. 

“I-I love you so much, I need you darling.” He held her face tenderly, his own eyes filling with tears, “I never want to parted from you. I thank God everyday for you, for blessing me with you, for allowing me to take care of you, for using you to bring me closer to Him. I can't imagine my life without you.” He took a deep breath and took a step back, getting down on one knee. Jenna started full on sobbing, covering her mouth as she looked down at him. The few people around them turning to look at them. 

“Jenna Elizabeth Black, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” He finally asked, not looking away from her. 

Jenna nodded furiously, unable to say anything. He barely slipped the ring on her finger before standing up and pulling her close, kissing her feverishly as everyone around them burst into applause. 

Tyler had never felt so happy in his life. He never could have imagined, when he was 16 and alone, and wishing his life to be over, that things would ever get this good. People always told him: “it gets better,” and how right they were. 

He was glad he was alive. 

\--  
“Congratulations!” Josh beamed at them from the staticky connection. 

It was late evening in Paris and they had just gotten back from dinner. Meanwhile it was mid morning in LA and Josh was sitting in his bed. 

“I can't wait for the wedding. Maybe I’ll dye my hair back to black just for the occasion.”

Jenna pretended to gasp, “What?! Why would you do such a thing? I expect you be standing up in the altar with the brightest of colors.”

Tyler laughed, kissing her temple. “Well, it's kinda late here and we just wanted to tell --”

“Josh? I’m back!” Came the unmistakable voice of Debby from the background. 

Tyler and Jenna exchanged a look and then turned to Josh who smiled sheepishly. “I’ll explain later. It's a long story. Have good night guys, love you.”

“Love you too buddy. Be safe!” Tyler sung smugly and Josh just rolled his eyes and disconnected the call. 

Jenna laughed, shutting the computer and laying back in bed. “I knew they would get back together, he was way too emotional when they broke up.”

“Well, I hope they are working things out and not just hooking up again.” Tyler contemplated, laying next to her and lazily playing with her hand. “But, we have three more days in the city of love and I plan to make every second worth while so we better get some rest.”

Jenna grinned and rolled over to her side, “The future Mrs. Joseph agrees.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the next few chapters are the wedding and honeymoon so I have a question for you guys. Smut or no smut? I don't mind writing smut, it's fun but I don't wanna write it if you all don't like it (lol) so lmk! I can happily gloss over it too :)


	12. Screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF

“I'm going to throw up,” Tyler said nervously. 

“No you're not.” Josh countered, turning away from the mirror to look at him. 

“What's wrong bro?” Zack said, walking over and sitting next to Tyler on the small couch. 

It was finally the day of the wedding and all the groomsmen were getting ready together. So far, Tyler hadn't had many nerves, but now that he was done getting ready, it had finally hit him. He was going to marry Jenna, pledge to spend the rest of his life with her. But that wasn't what he was nervous about, quite the contrary, he was looking forward to that, it was something else. 

“I-I...what if I’m not good enough? What if I mess everything up?” He bit his lip nervously, “I a-already hurt her once. I don't wanna do it again. All I do is hurt those around me.”

All eleven of his groomsmen exchanged looks. 

“Tyler, that's a lie and you know it.” Mark finally said. 

“If all you did was hurt people, then none of us would be here,” added Jay. 

“And look how many of us there are Ty,” Zack continued gently. “You’ll make a great husband.”

“I have never seen anyone love as much as I’ve seen you and Jenna love.” Josh finally piped up, walking over, “You are more than good enough. As long as you try -- and I know you will, you and Jenna will make it through anything.”

Tyler looked up at them and smiled, standing up. “Thanks guys. Can we pray?”

\--  
There was a multitude of voices around her. Talking about hair, makeup, clothes, and gossip, but Jenna didn't hear anything. She just gazed silently at the mirror while her hair was done. 

She was going to get married today. 

“Which ones, Jenna?” Tatum asked, holding out two pairs of earrings, “Jenna?” She asked again. 

“Huh? Oh sorry.” She smiled sheepishly, “Just a little overwhelmed. Um, the ones on the left.”

Tatum smiled at her. “Nervous? Excited? How are you feeling?”

“I’m...excited. I’ve known that I wanted to marry Tyler for a while now but I can't believe the day is finally here.” She sighed happily at her future sister-in-law. “I'm just hoping he’s not having second thoughts.”

“Jenna, you're the best thing that's ever happened to my brother,” Maddy called from across the room, “if he gets cold feet then we’ll kick him out of the family and adopt you instead!”

Everyone burst into laughter and Jenna’s nerves eased. She was ready. 

\--  
They had decided to do “first look” pictures before the actual ceremony. Tyler wanted to be able to take her in without everyone they cared about watching. 

He was waiting in a field, keeping his eyes trained on the door she was coming out of, ignoring the photographer who was standing a few feet away. 

Tyler always thought Jenna was beautiful. When she was asleep, when she was dressed to go out, when he saw her everyday. But today, today he thought the word didn't do her justice. 

She looked...radiant, stunning, astounding, bewitching, alluring, graceful...there just wasn't a word to describe how she looked in his eyes. 

It was like he had never smiled before as he stood there, awe struck, looking at the woman he was going to marry. Crossing the distance between them in a few strides, he held her face tenderly, “You look so...I can't believe…,” He gave a breathy sigh, “I’m so happy.”

She smiled back just as wide, “Me too, honey, me too.”

\--  
Standing up in the altar was the most nerve racking experience ever. It was like endless waiting for the best thing in your life while knowing it could happen any minute now. 

Zack was standing at his side, trying to fulfill the best man role by calming Tyler down but he wasn't having much success. 

He was waiting and waiting. 

And then the music started, and his heartbeat sped up. And then the bridesmaids were coming out, and while they all looked beautiful, he was looking right through them. Because then he was looking at Jenna. And while he had seen her before, it was like looking at her for the first time ever, back when he glimpsed her across a dance floor and didn't know the impact she would have on his life. 

He couldn't hold back and gave up trying to be cool, so the tears started coming freely. Looking at her, he wondered why he ever tried to hide anything from her. She was the only one who truly knew his soul. She saw right through screen on his chest. 

He was going to marry this girl. 

“Hi, I love you.” she whispered when she was finally standing in front of him. 

“Hi,” he sniffled back, taking her hands delicately. “I love you too.” 

“Dearly beloved….”

The ceremony was a blur, all Tyler remembered was looking into her blue eyes, his favorite color, and promising his life to her and saying the two sweets words: “I do.”

Their first kiss as husband and wife was the best kiss they had ever had, and though short and chaste, it was charged with so much passion and love, it was the most intimate they had been. 

\--  
The party was beautiful. It was all joy, light, laughter and beauty. Everyone there was having a great time, feeling the magic of the place, because even though weddings happened everyday, this one only happened once, and that was magic enough for them. 

Jenna was glowing. Basking in the love of her new husband, the joy of her family, the laughter from her bridesmaids, and the admiration from their friends. She danced all night, with Tyler, slowly and tenderly; with her dad, melancholy and nostalgically; with Josh, lively and happily; with her sister, excitedly and silly. She couldn't stop smiling and laughing the whole night, and no matter what other saw, to her, everything was perfect. 

Tyler was awe struck. He was still trying to process it all, from staring at the ring that now lived on his finger, to looking at the new Jenna Joseph. He didn't do quite as much dancing as her, instead choosing to sit and watch most of the night. To some it was weird, but he was happy to people watch, to see all the people he loved under one roof. It made him think, wishing he could tell all those that used to be like him, angry and lonely, that joy _would_ one day return to their lives. 

He stood and joined his wife and best friend on the dance floor. 

\--  
They parted that very night for their honeymoon, which would only last one week and then would have to be immediately followed by the start of the tour, but they pushed that away, eager to get started on their new life together. 

“Wow,” Jenna whispered when they were finally in the backseat of the car on their way to the airport, “We’re married.”

Tyler smiled and draped his around her, pulling her close. “I know. I still can't believe it.” He held out his left hand, peering at the black band on his finger, “This little guy still feels foreign.”

Jenna held out her own hand where her engagement ring glittered alongside her new wedding band. “It looks beautiful though. I'm glad you finally have an indicator to show you're mine. Those fan girls and reporters are growing at alarming numbers,” she teased. 

Tyler turned to her and kissed her neck, “They don't hold a candle to you. Ring or no ring, I was yours since the day I met you, mind, body and soul.”

Jenna sighed breathily, “Tyler Joseph, you have such a way with words.”

“Well, Jenna Joseph I cannot wait to show my other ways too.” He murmured against her skin. 

It was torture to sit through the flight and then the car ride to their hotel, but when they were finally alone as man and wife, it was unimagineable. 

\--  
When Tyler finally rolled off her that night, both of them sweaty and breathing heavy, they just lay in silence for a while, basking in what had just happened. 

“Wow...that was…” Jenna finally breathed, turning to cuddle up against Tyler. 

“...amazing. So amazing.” Tyler finished, putting his arm around her, “You’re pure magic Jenna, I’ll never get enough of you.”

Jenna leaned up to kiss him and at first, it was slow and lazy, but after a while, it got more intense and Tyler finally pulled her on top of him. She straddled him, her blonde locks streaming down her shoulders. 

Tyler pulled away for a minute and just looked at her sitting over him, naked just the way she was. He let his eyes trail over every inch of her soft skin and all he felt was love. There was not a single flaw in her that he could see. Pulling her down, he proceeded to tell her all this with his body. 

They didn't get much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I hope you didn't die from cheesy-ness or fluff-ness. I tried not to over do it buuuut clearly I failed haha. Also, I tried to do some *tasteful* "smut" at the end but I'm not even sure if it even counts as smut, I just wanted to show a more intimate side to them.


	13. House of Gold

“Mmm, I can't wait to try Hawaiian food,” Jenna yawned, stretching in the large bed. 

It was just past noon and the two of them were just getting out of bed. Tyler was languidly going through his phone next to her and sunlight was streaming into their beautiful room and Jenna couldn't be happier. She was in Hawaii with her husband for their honeymoon and life was good. 

“Ohmygoodnes,” Tyler gasped suddenly at something on his phone. 

“What is it, honey?” She asked, rolling over and snaking her arms around him. 

“Taco Bell just released their new Quesalupa today.” He sighed dreamily. 

Jenna regarded him warily, “Ty...we’re in Hawaii --”

“Jen, it's a Quesalupa!” He pleaded, pulling his best puppy eyes. 

“We did not come all the way here to go to Taco Bell…” she raised her eyebrows at him. 

“It's a Quesalupa!” he whined, sticking his bottom lip out. 

Jenna groaned and rolled out bed, “Let's get dressed.”

“I love you!”

“Mmm, you better.”

\--  
Their honeymoon went by much too quickly. They spent their days exploring the beautiful island and finding new things to do, and their nights loving. 

It was pure bliss and happiness. It was like they were living in their own little bubble where nothing could touch them. Not Tyler’s demons, or the pressure from the label, or the occasionally overbearing fans, or even the world itself. 

Tyler never wanted it to end, but of course it had to. On their last day, they delayed leaving their hotel room as long as possible. Finally, Jenna sighed and looked around, “We have to go, sweetheart, it’s time.”

Tyler sighed and walked over to her, pulling her close, “I know, I don't want to but you're right.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, “You know what though? It doesn't matter where we are as long as we’re together. I know that's cheesy as heck but it's true. You’re my home, Jenna, I know we can take this world together.”

Jenna reached up and pulled back his face gently, studying it and smiling. “I love you. Always, always, always.” She leaned in and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

\--  
Being back on tour was bittersweet. 

Bitter because they didn't get to spend as much time alone together, and had to deal with a lot more pressure; but sweet because they got to see Josh again and all their crewmembers, and got to play live again. 

Tyler was scared at first that somehow things would change now that him and Jenna were married but nothing did. The fact that she was going to be with them everyday now made things better. 

She easily fit into the crew and became a sort of defacto mom. She reminded them to eat more than just pizza, to do laundry before they completely ran out of clothes and other little things like that. 

Everyone loved having her around, Tyler specially. Whenever they got to spend a night at hotel rather than just the bus, Tyler was ecstatic. It was nice to have a bed, not only to sleep but to also be able to love his wife. 

However, the first time that happened, Chris seemed to forget that Tyler was now married. He did things the way he normally did, putting Tyler and Josh in one room. He didn't realize his mistake until he was passing out room keys to everyone. 

“Ty, Josh, here are yours. Room 4079.” He listed off, holding out the keys to them. Everyone was gathered in the lobby, Jenna currently in the bathroom. 

“Um,” Tyler piped up, a bit confused, “We’re rooming together?”

Chris frowned at him, “Of course. Why wouldn't you be?”

“Jenna?” Tyler explained, a bit exasperated. It had been weeks since he had that precious time with her. 

“When she’s stayed before you two still roomed together. They're double beds.” Chris continued, failing to see the problem. 

Tyler sighed and next to him Josh laughed, just now getting why he was annoyed. “Well, we’re married now. I, uh, kinda want some alone time with her. Without Josh. No offense buddy.” He added, turning to his best friend who just smirked. 

“What? OH!” Chris laughed, “Well, I'm sorry to cockblock you Tyler but everything's already full.  
You're gonna have to keep it in your pants for a couple more days.”

Everyone burst into laughter and Tyler blushed. Jenna walked back towards the group at that moment, asking what was so funny, but everyone refused to explained it to her. 

“You’re having a pajama party with Tyler and Josh!” Brad grinned, draping his arm around her. 

“Oooh! That sounds fun boys! You wanna head up?” She beamed at them. 

Josh snickered and Tyler shot daggers at everyone else, “Of course!”

\--  
Josh wanted to go out that night, so in the end the couple did end up getting a few hours alone. When he came back, they were just finished and were still lying in bed. 

Josh took one look at the clothes all over the room and burst into laughter. “Managed to keep busy?” He asked, walking into the bathroom. They ignored him and got quickly dressed. 

The three of them watched a movie together and then ended up falling asleep in the same bed anyways, and though it was a bit cramped, Jenna was happy to be with her two favorite boys. 

Regardless, Tyler made sure Chris got them their own room after that, though Josh was still more than welcome to hang out in it before bed. 

\--  
“...and that's it. We’re officially done.” Micah grinned as the last few notes of Goner faded out. “It's ready guys, it’ll be out soon.”

They were at their last listening session before the album dropped. Though Tyler had written all these songs and knew them by heart, he felt nervous every time he heard them. They were undeniably different and he was scared of that. 

There were people waiting for their album this time around. When they dropped Vessel and Self-Titled, they had little to no following. No one was waiting for it, there were no standards to meet. Tyler was just doing him. 

This time around, things were different, and that _terrified_ him. 

Jenna squeezed his hand, bringing him to back reality, “You okay, honey?”

“Yeah,” he smiled at her, “Just a little nervous that's all.”

Jenna leaned in and pecked his cheek, happy that he told her how he felt, no matter how small, instead of just brushing it off. It was something they discussed in therapy and Tyler was making an active effort to do all the things they talked about. He was trying to prove to her that he was set on getting better. 

“Only a few more weeks, Ty!” Josh piped up, grinning over at him, bouncing his knee anxiously

“Ah, stop, don't remind me.” Tyler murmured, sliding down his seat. 

“Boys? They’re ready for you.” Said Alisia, one of their PR managers, walking into the room. Lately they had been seeing a lot of her since they had been doing scores of interviews to hype up the new album. 

Tyler took a deep breath, wishing he didn't have to go. All he wanted was to spend the afternoon with his two favorite people: his soulmate and the platonic love of his life, not answering the same basic questions to a reporter who had no idea who they were. 

Jenna sensed his hesitation and leaned in, planting a light kiss on him, “Go, Ty. We can go to Taco Bell with Josh after you guys are done.”

Tyler smiled at her sighed, squeezing her hand once more before letting go and standing up. Josh grinned at both of them, “Don’t worry Tyler, I’ll hold your hand while Jenna’s gone.”

Everyone laughed and the boys left. It might have seemed to anyone else that Josh was joking but when they were walking in the hallway, Alisia a couple of feet ahead of them, Josh took Tyler’s hand, “How are you? We’re doing okay?”

“Yeah, we will be.” Tyle answered, not letting go of his hand until they were about to walk into the room. 

\--  
“Oh my goodness, you don't understand how happy I was baby, I had to pull over to call your dad and let everyone know,” Kelly said over the phone. 

“It's not that big of a deal mom,” Tyler murmured, absentmindedly doodling in the margin of his journal, “It just a local station.”

“But it's still the radio! And then the other day Zack sent me a picture of a huge poster with you guys on it downtown.” Tyler’s mom sighed happily, “I’m just so proud of you darling. You two boys are going far.”

Tyler’s heart twisted. He had called his mom both because he missed her and because Jenna had been guilt tripping him about that lately. She handed him the phone and told him she would ignore him until he called his family. 

Currently she was working away on Josh’s hair, dying it a new shade. It was a simple task but considerably harder when they were in a moving bus with only a tiny bathroom. Tyler could hear their laughter drift down across the bus. 

“Thank you, mom.” He said suddenly, cutting across whatever story she had been saying. 

“I -- what? For what, Ty?”

“For everything,” He smiled, “For putting up with me. For encouraging me and not letting me give up. I-I would be miserable if it hadn't been for you. Thank you for letting me do what I love.”

“Oh Tyler,” Kelly said emotionally, “I love you so much, honey, I would support you no matter what you chose to do.”

“I promise that one day I’ll make up for all the pain I caused you when I was a teenager.”

“As long as you take care of me when I grow old, that’ll be enough for me, honey.”

“Of course I will, mom. Zack, Jay, and Maddy will have nothing on me. I will build you a house of gold.” Tyler said, waving at Jenna who had emerged from the bathroom for some water, her hands bright red. 

She blew him a kiss and then walked back into the bathroom. 

Kelly laughed, “I like our little house just fine, but thanks honey. Anyways, I gotta go, I’m having a coffee date with Lily from church. I love you, I can't wait to see you.”

“I love you too, mom. See you soon.” He hung up and pulled up his email. 

Blurryface had been released a few weeks ago now and it was off to a better start than anyone thought. Tyler was trying not to obsessively check the numbers but he couldn't help it. It was amazing to see what his fans could do and their reaction to the music. 

“JOSHUA WILLIAM DUN THESE ARE MY FAVORITE JEANS!”

Tyler grinned and put his phone down, it didn't matter what the numbers were, it was never about them and it should stay that way. Standing up, he walked over to check on his two favorite people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I almost ended the story there but I felt that it was too unresolved. So stay woke for the final chapter ;) let me know your thoughts on the story as I wrap it up!! Anything you guys wanna see for the end?


	14. Death of the Enemy

Twenty One Pilots’ rise to fame was completely unforeseen. It seemed like it happened overnight, as if one day no one had heard of the two boys and then the next, saying you hadn't heard a Twenty One Pilots’ song was like saying you hadn't heard a Justin Bieber song. They were _everywhere._

They went from an underground band with a small following, to an international sensation. From a group whose fans were close knit and few, to being the masses of mainstream music. 

Tyler Joseph and his wife became the golden couple of the industry, no one had seen a love like that before. Josh Dun became the most eligible bachelor, the one who never seemed to find a steady girl but was just always rumored to be with a different one every month. 

The two of them transformed what “popular” music was. The way the Beatles transformed pop, the way Bob Dylan transformed folk and jazz, and the way Jimi Hendrix transformed rock. 

Unforeseen, unique, and revolutionary. 

Blurryface was their breakout album. Although the sales were slow at first, they gained momentum like snowball going downhill. At first it was just one song on the radio, and then next thing you knew it was half the album. They broke record after record, taking everyone by surprise. Just when they thought their moment had passed, another song skyrocketed.

Another reason everyone loved the duo was because of how humble they stayed. Tyler and his wife never moved out of Ohio, and Josh stayed in a moderate little place. They still went to church and always connected with their fans, only stopping doing it in person when they grew too many. 

Twenty One Pilots was the band of the decade, and absolutely nobody saw them coming. 

\--  
“Well, I have to go, Chris is shooting me the stink eye,” Tyler smiled regretfully. 

“5 minutes!”

Jenna sighed, “Alright have fun honey, be safe, I love you.”

“I love you too, goodnight my loves.” Tyler waved at the screen, blowing a soft kiss. 

“Goodnight Daddy!” Rosie waved from her mother’s lap. 

“Goodnight angel! I’ll see you soon okay?” With one last smile, he regretfully disconnected the call. 

Sighing, he stood up and walked over to Josh who was standing side stage. 

“You miss them, don't you?” Josh said, glancing over at him. 

“Of course I do. Rosie is almost 2 and I feel like I missed half of her life, ZJ is only a month old and I feel the same way already.” He ran a hand over his face. Out in the arena, the screams of the crowd got louder, “And I love all of _them,_ I do,” He gestured towards the stage, “But I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.”

“Ty, our fourth album drops next month and this tour is over. Maybe we could use a break.” Josh murmured, spinning his drumsticks with his fingers. 

Tyler looked over in surprise. Josh was the last person he expected to say that, “What? You’d be okay with that?”

“Sure. It's not like we’re stopping, we’d never do that, we would just do less shows.” He took a deep breath as the onstage countdown began. “I really would like that. It would certainly make it easier to plan a wedding.”

Left speechless, Tyler stood there stunned and watched as Josh made his way to his place, grinning sheepishly at him. He stood there until Chris shoved him forward, jolting him out of his shock. 

The whole show was a bit blurry, and the minute they were done, Tyler cornered Josh backstage. “Explain. Wedding? Whose wedding?”

Josh grinned, “So you know how Debby and I decided to give it another try? Like for real? Like we’re even following your advice on trying not to sleep together.”

Tyler nodded. Josh and Debby had flip flopped back and forth constantly over the years. They’d even “gotten back together” a couple of times, but they always kept it from the media because it never lasted very long. This time around however, Tyler and Jenna had sat Josh down and told him they had to make up their minds. It wasn't healthy for either them to keep doing this. And so inspired by their talk, Josh and Debby were now trying to make things actually work. 

“Well,” Josh smiled nervously, “It's been so amazing, and it's made me realize how much I really want to be with her, so…”

“You're going to propose!” Tyler grinned. 

Josh nodded. “Yeah. I hope she says yes, Ty. What if she doesn't say yes? She's the only girl I’ve ever loved like this.”

Tyler hugged him fiercely. “I'm so proud of you, buddy. She’ll say yes, how can she not?”

A week later Debby said yes. 

\--  
Even though Twenty One Pilots rose to fame fairly quickly, no one expected them to keep growing so much at such great rate. 

At first they were just the top stars in the US, but then next thing you knew, they were international stars. 

The world loved them. Their fourth album was even a bigger hit than their third. No one could get enough of them, girls swarmed them everywhere they went, they stalked Tyler’s small family, simultaneously praising them and tearing down his wife. 

So when the boys announced that they were significantly going to reduce their touring, everyone was shocked. They were at the peak of their fame, most artists would increase touring if anything. 

They were going to ruin their career, everyone said. It was the worst thing they could do. Imagine all the money they were going to lose

But it didn't ruin their career. Twenty One Pilots never faded from the spotlight, it just became less about them and more about the music. The true fans understood. Tyler had two young kids, and would he really be Tyler if he didn't try his hardest to be there for them?

\--  
“Zackary Joshua Joseph leave your sister alone!” Jenna called out from the kitchen. 

The 4 year old let go of his sister’s hair sheepishly, switching to trying to give her a hug instead. Rose was having none of it, as most 6-year-olds hardly want anything to do with their younger siblings. 

Before Jenna could get another word in, the doorbell rang, so she shot her kids one last warning glance before wiping her hands on a towel and making her way to the door. 

“Jenna!” Debby squealed the minute the door opened. The two hugged happily as three-year-old Lila wriggled her way through them and made a beeline for her best friend, “ZJ!”

Jenna laughed and hugged Josh as well. “How are you two? How was the flight?”

Josh groaned, “Awful. We thought Lila would sleep the whole way but she didn't sleep a wink. So she’ll probably crash sometime soon.”

“Aw that's okay,” Jenna smiled, “ZJ is due for a nap soon too. Anyways, Ty is in the back grilling, he probably didn't hear the bell. He's been anxiously waiting.”

Josh grinned and made a beeline for _his_ best friend. Jenna and Debby made their way to the kitchen where they caught up as Jenna finished baking some cookies. They passed the living room, where there was a whole shelf filled with awards, ranging from dozens of Grammys to even one Oscar for a song they had written for a movie last year. 

The girls traded life stories. From Debby struggling to balance being a mom in LA to Jenna’s everyday quirks with two kids (though it felt like three sometimes.)

Outside, the boys goofed around for a few minutes, eventually sobering down for a more serious conversation over the sizzling steaks. They talked about the future but also about the present. Currently, Twenty One Pilots was only doing one tour a year, and every single time that tour went on sale, it sold out within minutes. Their label kept pushing them to go back to touring year round but the boys were firm. They both had families now, and already spent enough time on the road as it was. They were the most famous duo of the world right now, and everyone knew who they were. It was a little overwhelming at times. 

Eventually both families gathered around the table and said grace before digging into the meal.

Tyler looked around and his heart felt warm looking at the people he loved most. His life was good, and he was beyond lucky to have all this. Of course life wasn't perfect -- he still went to therapy and sometimes struggled with his mind, and even had fights with Jenna, but they always got through it, and he knew they always would. 

He knew he could never stop making music, but he also knew that he wanted to be the best father and husband he could ever be, and he would spend the rest of his life trying to find that perfect balance if there was such a thing. 

However that seemed like a very small price to pay for such an amazing life. 

_Fin. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, guys...it's over. I put off writing this for two reasons. One, because I suck at endings and I rewrote it a bunch of times. I wanted it to be happy but not perfect, because life isn't perfect but it can most definitely be happy. Let me know if you think I managed to find a good in between :)
> 
> Second, because I love starting fics, and have started quite a few in my time (check out my wattpad @mylifeandstory for some non TOP fic) but I've only ever finished one other fic. So this is a big deal to me. I love this story and I'm fairly proud of myself for doing this so I didn't want it to end, but alas, everything must.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and thank you for all your lovely comments, I love love them so much and they encouraged me to keep writing.
> 
> Let me know if you would like anything else from me, but until then, stay alive frens.
> 
> ~Alisia |-/


End file.
